We live in a world where personal choice is celebrated as the hallmark of freedom. One in which we might assume that our lives are a mosaic of carefully selected preferences – what we wear, buy, listen to, and love all seeming expressions of our unique identity. But are they really?
When we pause to question the origins of these preferences, I believe that a different picture often takes shape. Beneath the surface of our so-called choices lies an intricate tapestry woven not by us, but by an array of influences: brands, influencers, and most importantly, societal trends. And this makes me believe and say that the “freedom” to choose may, in fact, be nothing more than a carefully crafted mirage.
To embody my thoughts more clearly, let's take a look at fashion. Each season, we see new trends, colors, cuts, and designs emerge. They appear in magazines—mostly digital now, since few still experience the magic of a physical one. We see them on influencers' feeds, in the shops that line our streets, and sometimes directly in our closets. They are everywhere. And when we see them (regardless of the number of times), we experience a sense of serendipity. It feels like we've discovered a style we truly “love”, a feeling that the choice is uniquely ours.
But how often do we pause to ask where these styles originated or how they found their way into our closets? How often do we consider whether a piece truly aligns with us? Whether the love we feel for it doesn’t stem from somewhere else? Few do, if any.
We fail to notice that most of the latest must-have items materialize simultaneously on multiple social media platforms and in-store displays. We overlook that what we think of as personal taste is, to a large extent, engineered for us.
Brands invest heavily in making us believe we love what they produce. Their strategies are subtle, sometimes even artful (though rarely these days). They partner with influencers who embody aspirations we're drawn to—are we really? They run ads that tie style to self-worth or craft exclusivity through limited releases. A simple jacket becomes more than clothing; it's imbued with social currency, a way to feel connected, validated, and relevant. And thus, we find ourselves scrolling, sharing, purchasing, and dressing not only for ourselves but to align with an image that brands have crafted for us.
But this illusion of choice isn't limited to fashion. It’s embedded in how we live. Much like adopting the latest clothing trends, we adopt lifestyle choices that resonate with collective ideals, ambitions, and social validation. We follow paths we feel we’re supposed to—pursuing a “safe” career, taking up popular hobbies, curating an Instagram-perfect life—instead of what we truly want. We watch others' lives from behind screens, absorbing curated moments, and silently comparing them to our own. And we don’t even realize this. We think our choices are individual, but they’re reflections of surrounding trends, shaped by what others have deemed valuable or desirable.
The paradox here is that this reliance on external influences to shape our identity creates a disconnect from our true selves. Rather than fostering a fulfilling life, it often leads to one that feels hollow, bound by invisible threads of other people's preferences and opinions. Instead of dancing to our own rhythm, we embrace the tune played by others. But now, think about these questions:
How would our lives change if we could break free from this pattern? What if we stepped away from imposed trends to explore what genuinely resonates with us?
Growth, I often say, is more about removal than addition. This shift requires letting go of the need to follow—and, in a way, to belong. We need to let go of the old to embrace the new, the true. This shift invites us to examine each decision and ask:
Is this truly me? Or is it a choice I’m making for someone else’s approval or admiration?
When we strip away layers of imposed preferences, what we’re left with is often startlingly simple, yet more profound. Maybe it’s a love for timeless pieces rather than the latest must-haves. Maybe it’s a desire to pursue an unconventional career or live beyond societal standards. It’s about finding our own rhythm—a rhythm that may be slower, quieter, and even less impressive in others’ eyes, but one that resonates with who we truly are.
Fashion once celebrated individuality. Yet today, it often fosters more conformity than authenticity. The irony of it all. Each new trend claims to offer self-expression when, in reality, it nudges us towards uniformity. We might believe we’re engaging in self-expression, but we’re often just wearing different versions of the same thing, playing different parts in the same play. Authenticity in fashion means intentional choices—favoring pieces that speak personally over those in vogue. In doing so, fashion becomes not an imposed identity but a canvas for our own narrative. (There are, thankfully, some brands—more and more emerging—that focus on authenticity, where individuality disrupts the industry.)
The same approach can transform our lives. Imagine choosing a career not because it’s well-paying or prestigious, or because family wants it, but because it genuinely excites you. Imagine curating a lifestyle not to match an influencer’s image but to reflect your own values and joys. (How do you think most influencers or trendsetters reached their status?) By letting go of the impulse to mirror others, we open ourselves to self-discovery and the freedom to grow beyond society's constraints.
When we let go, we become new. Our desire to fit into others' molds, transforms into confidence and contentment. We no longer seek validation in others' eyes but begin to find it within ourselves. Our decisions, untethered from the desire to meet external expectations, become acts of self-trust. And this trust cultivates a personal sovereignty—a sense that our lives are indeed ours to shape.
There’s so much we can learn from fashion, lessons that are found beyond the garments we’ve confined it to for so long. Fashion can be a teacher again, showing the pitfalls of following trends just to belong and the strength in choosing consciously. Recognizing the mirage many trends create helps us reclaim the power to decide what truly matters to us, both in what we wear and in how we live. Rather than cycling through consumption and conformity, we can discern and create, choosing pieces and paths that resonate with our own values.
Breaking free from this illusion of choice brings us back to ourselves. Each decision becomes a brushstroke on our life’s canvas, unique to us and reflective of our journey. We stop living by a script written by others, instead writing our own lines, charting our own path. True authenticity isn’t found through others' approval but within ourselves.
To take steps toward that, we could start by asking ourselves a few simple questions. What resonates with me? What would I choose if there was no one around to notice? Even the smallest of answers to these questions can act as a compass, helping us distinguish personal desires from inherited expectations. Over time, each step we take that’s rooted in these truths contributes to a life that’s genuinely ours, uninfluenced by the whims of trends or the expectations of others. This kind of freedom is genuine, lasting, and wholly our own.
Thank you for reading!
Have a blessed day!🌹
Eduard🌹
